Wedding Officiant -Debbi Ballard
Passover is one of the most symbolic of the Jewish holidays and the Seder plate is the centerpiece of our table. The Seder features the story of Exodus and at the heart of the Seder table is the Seder Plate. [Read more…]
Happy New Year! While on a weekend away with my son, I saw the following Brad Paisley quote on Facebook: “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” I stopped for a moment – appreciated the inspiration, and realized this sentence encompasses what I do professionally each and every day.
Each time I perform a ceremony (any type) I work hard to know those with whom I am working. I build relationships first and the ceremonies seem to flow from them. While I hope that each ceremony is special to my clients, I am not sure that they realize how special each one is to me. Meeting new people, learning about them – their hopes and dreams — and having the opportunity to share in the important moments of their lives truly helps shape mine. I learn something unique from each encounter, and each experience helps to make me a better person.
Performing many ceremonies per year, however, can lend itself to monotony, and I have to work to keep things fresh – for my clients, and for myself. I know the best way to do that is to tap into the essence of the family or couple I am working with, to focus on what makes them interesting and unique. It keeps my work fresh, and this year, I’m inspired to be even better at what I do.
So, as I write my “book” this year, I am going to try to share more of what I do on this blog, and the lessons I am learning. I’d love for you to meet some of the people I get to meet, and share in their stories and special days. This will give you a peek inside their “365 page book”. My goal is to share twice a month…check back in two weeks and read my first entry!
I haven’t even begun to process the last 10 days, but I simply must express my heartfelt joy and appreciation for those who helped make it the most successful HiHo ever. Although I am completely exhausted, today, my heart is soaring.
First and foremost – thanks go out to my Dad, Rabbi Stephen Spiegel, who gave the most wonderful “not-sermon”, but rather, tidbits of the gifts of the Law of Attraction, teaching us always that instead of focusing on that we did wrong, that repentance is found through moving towards light, or what is right. At first, when he started speaking, I thought – oh good, now I can zone out for a second and get the rest of my thoughts in order for what is next, and when I realized I truly loved what he was saying, I was captivated. Dad, I don’t know where you got those words from. I can only hope that over these last 7 years you’ve actually listened to things I’ve been saying, but if those are your beliefs, and I do know they are – because look at the amazing things you have done with your life – I couldn’t be more proud of you. I love you.
Every spiritual leader needs a great team behind her. This year, I’ve worked completely alone. NO assistant, no volunteers, just me – and it has been extremely demanding. But this year’s team behind me has been my own children, who have stepped up to support their mom in the most incredible ways. Lauren Ashley Ballard – your enthusiasm, support, and never ending ear to listen and the way you and Jay Yarnold just move right in to take care of things I leave in my path have made this process so much easier. Trevor Ballard, your sense of independence and self responsibility has made it so much easier for me to focus on the job at hand, and we all can see what an incredible job you have done at taking life by the reins and making it happen for yourself. You have also been an incredible ear to listen and offered so much support and guidance, always having my best interest at heart. Who could ask for more?
At yesterday’s service I honored 3 groups of people, who in my world make my life what it is today.
First, I honored my Mitzvah Makers, highlighting the leaders who have emerged, who I adore with all my heart. Justin Liebman, Joey Ferber, Alex Kazdan, Eli Andy Fuhrman, Kayleigh Powers, Emma Shapiro, Noah Brenner, Ryder (Ashley Howell Kaplan Howell Kaplan, and Trevor Price and Brent Bogart – cannot wait to see the amazing things you do this year. I’m so proud of you!
Second, I honored all of the families who have attended all five years of services. You have been the ones who I can count on, who have helped shape this community to become what it is, and whose lives I have become such an integral part of. Brooke Cohen, Melissa Wisan Edrich, Alexa Zuckerman, Elizabeth Stuppler Stabinski, Kelly Kleinman Rothschild, Kim Zaidman Leff, Mara Selinger, Ronnie Selinger, Martha Shiffman Feinberg, Bob Feinberg, Melissa Cravitz Ferber, Stephen Ferber, Andy Fuhrman, Stacey Bressman Kean, Stacy Kleinman Appelblatt, Valerie Dixon Ramo, Shari Helfman Liebman – thank you from the bottom of my heart!
And third – I honored the Non-Jewish parents who help support and raise Jewish families, because these parents rarely get the appreciation they deserve. It is not easy to be a non Jewish parent of Jewish children, but I love, respect, and admire those who do. Yesterday, I had the most special guest of honor stand on my stage. My ex-husband, Wayne Ballard, the most important non Jewish partner in raising Jewish children in my life, stood on stage with my parents, Lauren and Trevor, and Lauren’s finance, Jay Yarnold, who will also be a non Jewish father in a Jewish child’s life. Our family, standing together, was so moving – even for me – and the notes and emails I have received telling me how life changing and memorable that was for them was so inspiring.
I’m sorry to write a novel here – there are so many words I can write about the experience of these past holidays. Thank you to every family who joined us for the 1st time, and all those in between 4 and 5 years. No matter how challenging this life gets in between the holidays, it is weeks like the last 2 that remind me why, exactly, I do what I do. Thank you to everyone who inspires me to be who I am. I am filled with much love and gratitude.
I always love the time of the holidays. Aside from the stressful parts, Rosh Hashanah is like the brand new coloring book with a new box of crayons with perfect tips and paper wrappers in tact. As I look at the wonderful pictures I get to color, I am filled with an imagination of how beautiful my pictures will look.
And as I color, it’s inevitable – Here and there, I cross over the lines. The picture I set out to create was perfect in my mind, but imperfect in its execution, at least on the exterior. But at the end of the year, I look back at all the pictures I’ve colored and something occurs to me, something very important. Not every picture crosses the lines. Some are done well, others have some small mistakes, and the collection of the pictures as a whole represent a year – my year – of efforts made, hitting the target, and sometimes, not.
It occurs to me that the coloring book is far more beautiful for having tried, and crossed the line, than to have never colored at all. It represents the hope that next year’s book will be better, less errors, more vivid colors, perhaps a bit more technically advanced, or maybe using softer colors, because after all – every year is different, and what’s important is that I make the effort to color at all. Truly, the coloring book, after all, is perfect. It is mine.
At Rosh Hashanah, I’m filled with inspiration of how I will color my year ahead. the fresh, clean slate makes me feel like a school girl again, and how I smile inside when I know that life is my coloring book, and I own a new box of crayons. What colors will you use this year? What masterpieces will you create?
L’Shanah Tovah!
Last night, I drove 13 hours round trip up and back in the same day, just to co-officiate the wedding of Alex and Blake, an adorable couple from Gainesville, FL, in St. Augustine. Now normally, I would never accept a wedding two days before Rosh Hashanah, most especially out of town – and most definitely not with an up and back in one day! But this wedding ceremony was different. See, I would go to the ends of the earth to share an altar with Father Tim Lozier, my most incredibly favorite Catholic Priest in this world. Father Tim and I co-officiated our first Jewish-Catholic wedding a few years ago for Dan and Bethann, and then for Michelle and Brian last year. Last night was the third time, for Alex and Blake.
It’s been hard to put into words what makes Father Tim my favorite.
First, his incredible willingness and ease in sharing the wedding officiant roles and equally including both of us in the most special, wonderful ways in the wedding ceremony makes him so easy to work with. His wonderful, loving, caring soul makes him so easy to love and get along with. And I really get a kick that he grabs my arm and leads me right up to the bar to get us a cocktail to celebrate! What a guy! But last night, I understood what makes Father Tim really so special. In any other co-officiated wedding, I would be deeply concerned over the inclusion of the “J-word” in a wedding ceremony, but with Father Tim, he makes special points to mention “Rabbi Jesus”, and he takes all of the discomfort out of the obvious elephant in the room. And as I stand there next to him, reciting The Lord’s Prayer word for word along with him, I can feel the palpable energy of unity flowing through the room. It is the ultimate point in what I do that makes me so happy to work with Father Tim.
Focusing on what unites us – the values of love and caring, we can dissolve the concepts of what divides us. In that space, in his white robes and in my tallit, with the words of Jesus on his lips and the Sheva Brachot on mine, we are one. We are brother and sister in G0d’s eyes, and we share the same source. In this moment and time, there are no differences. The Lord’s Prayer is as much mine as it is his, and the power of that thought has been what has transformed the three wedding ceremonies we have performed together, and will continue to do so every time in the future. I adore Father Tim, and I adore my couples who I marry. I adore my family, my loved ones, and human kind. And oh, I adore the thought of all of us living and sharing this planet, loving and caring for each other, as brothers and sisters in God’s eyes. I have a dream…
Want to create your own “dream come true wedding”? Contact Cantor Debbi today to see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.
