Cantor Debbi Ballard thinks, writes, and speaks

You Inspire Me

January 5, 2017 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

Inspiration meets Determnation — Inspiration meets Determination

Happy New Year! While on a weekend away with my son, I saw the following Brad Paisley quote on Facebook: “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.” I stopped for a moment – appreciated the inspiration, and realized this sentence encompasses what I do professionally each and every day.

Each time I perform a ceremony (any type) I work hard to know those with whom I am working. I build relationships first and the ceremonies seem to flow from them. While I hope that each ceremony is special to my clients, I am not sure that they realize how special each one is to me. Meeting new people, learning about them – their hopes and dreams — and having the opportunity to share in the important moments of their lives truly helps shape mine. I learn something unique from each encounter, and each experience helps to make me a better person.

Performing many ceremonies per year, however, can lend itself to monotony, and I have to work to keep things fresh – for my clients, and for myself. I know the best way to do that is to tap into the essence of the family or couple I am working with, to focus on what makes them interesting and unique. It keeps my work fresh, and this year, I’m inspired to be even better at what I do.

So, as I write my “book” this year, I am going to try to share more of what I do on this blog, and the lessons I am learning. I’d love for you to meet some of the people I get to meet, and share in their stories and special days. This will give you a peek inside their “365 page book”. My goal is to share twice a month…check back in two weeks and read my first entry!

Another great-full year, welcome 5776!

September 24, 2015 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

I haven’t even begun to process the last 10 days, but I simply must express my heartfelt joy and appreciation for those who helped make it the most successful HiHo ever. Although I am completely exhausted, today, my heart is soaring.

First and foremost – thanks go out to my Dad, Rabbi Stephen Spiegel, who gave the most wonderful “not-sermon”, but rather, tidbits of the gifts of the Law of Attraction, teaching us always that instead of focusing on that we did wrong, that repentance is found through moving towards light, or what is right. At first, when he started speaking, I thought – oh good, now I can zone out for a second and get the rest of my thoughts in order for what is next, and when I realized I truly loved what he was saying, I was captivated. Dad, I don’t know where you got those words from. I can only hope that over these last 7 years you’ve actually listened to things I’ve been saying, but if those are your beliefs, and I do know they are – because look at the amazing things you have done with your life – I couldn’t be more proud of you. I love you.

Every spiritual leader needs a great team behind her. This year, I’ve worked completely alone. NO assistant, no volunteers, just me – and it has been extremely demanding. But this year’s team behind me has been my own children, who have stepped up to support their mom in the most incredible ways. Lauren Ashley Ballard – your enthusiasm, support, and never ending ear to listen and the way you and Jay Yarnold just move right in to take care of things I leave in my path have made this process so much easier. Trevor Ballard, your sense of independence and self responsibility has made it so much easier for me to focus on the job at hand, and we all can see what an incredible job you have done at taking life by the reins and making it happen for yourself. You have also been an incredible ear to listen and offered so much support and guidance, always having my best interest at heart. Who could ask for more?

At yesterday’s service I honored 3 groups of people, who in my world make my life what it is today.

First, I honored my Mitzvah Makers, highlighting the leaders who have emerged, who I adore with all my heart. Justin Liebman, Joey Ferber, Alex Kazdan, Eli Andy Fuhrman, Kayleigh Powers, Emma Shapiro, Noah Brenner, Ryder (Ashley Howell Kaplan Howell Kaplan, and Trevor Price and Brent Bogart – cannot wait to see the amazing things you do this year. I’m so proud of you!

Second, I honored all of the families who have attended all five years of services. You have been the ones who I can count on, who have helped shape this community to become what it is, and whose lives I have become such an integral part of. Brooke Cohen, Melissa Wisan Edrich, Alexa Zuckerman, Elizabeth Stuppler Stabinski, Kelly Kleinman Rothschild, Kim Zaidman Leff, Mara Selinger, Ronnie Selinger, Martha Shiffman Feinberg, Bob Feinberg, Melissa Cravitz Ferber, Stephen Ferber, Andy Fuhrman, Stacey Bressman Kean, Stacy Kleinman Appelblatt, Valerie Dixon Ramo, Shari Helfman Liebman – thank you from the bottom of my heart!

And third – I honored the Non-Jewish parents who help support and raise Jewish families, because these parents rarely get the appreciation they deserve. It is not easy to be a non Jewish parent of Jewish children, but I love, respect, and admire those who do. Yesterday, I had the most special guest of honor stand on my stage. My ex-husband, Wayne Ballard, the most important non Jewish partner in raising Jewish children in my life, stood on stage with my parents, Lauren and Trevor, and Lauren’s finance, Jay Yarnold, who will also be a non Jewish father in a Jewish child’s life. Our family, standing together, was so moving – even for me – and the notes and emails I have received telling me how life changing and memorable that was for them was so inspiring.

I’m sorry to write a novel here – there are so many words I can write about the experience of these past holidays. Thank you to every family who joined us for the 1st time, and all those in between 4 and 5 years. No matter how challenging this life gets in between the holidays, it is weeks like the last 2 that remind me why, exactly, I do what I do. Thank you to everyone who inspires me to be who I am. I am filled with much love and gratitude.

It’s Official! Shema Koleinu announces High Holiday Worship Services 5772!

July 31, 2011 by Debbi Ballard 4 Comments

High Holiday Worship Services with Cantor Debbi Ballard Begin for the first time

7 years ago, I performed my first wedding. 6 years ago, I performed my first Bat Mitzvah. Today, I am so proud to announce the official launch of “Shema Koleinu“, our non-profit synagogue-like organization that provides outreach to South Florida’s Jewish and Interfaith/Intercultural unaffiliated community. After several years of providing quality, meaningful life cycles for families who do not belong to synagogues, I wanted to do more. I wanted to mean more. I knew, that in order to truly be “My Personal Cantor”, I must provide everything a true synagogue did, but was committed to eliminating the membership, dues, and business aspect of the synagogue.

It was not only critical to provide meaningful life cycles, it was critical to bring my community a place of belonging, a place they could call their community, and feel great about building. We can create community by action, not by dollars. We can create community through mitzvah projects and group prayer, and not need to pay electric bills to do it!

But yet, we must build. Bringing my community an amazing High Holy Day worship experience was my priority this year, and I’m so excited to announce that I have contracted with the Miramar Cultural Center in Miramar FL, to bring West Broward its first meaningful, uplifting, and spiritually abundant High Holiday worship services for the unaffiliated. Regardless of your affiliation – or not – you can now worship and honor the new year with us, in a beautiful setting, with meaningful prayer and leadership. Our services will be family-friendly, so bring your children! And – we are even offering a tiny tot worship service for both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

We need the community’s help in building something they can call their own! For more information, please contact Cantor Debbi Ballard at 954-646-1326. Watch for our official ticket sales announcement in the next few days, and please – let us know what you can do to help. This is not MY event – this is YOURS! Please come and be a part of something – REVOLUTIONARY! You’ll be so happy you did!

B’Shalom,

Changing Lives is Easy!

March 27, 2011 by Debbi Ballard 7 Comments

You would think it takes sheer genius, or a miracle, or a huge revelation, to truly cause a shift in someone’s life, right? Not so much. Try a simple, single act of giving, and see what that does – not only for the person receiving your gift, but for you – when you take part in authentic giving.

Since I live in downtown Ft. Lauderdale, I am constantly driving by the park on Broward, just east of Andrews, where countless homeless people live. When I moved here, I began cooking double batches of food, and as I cooked for myself, I would package the 2nd batch, and drop it off as I drove by, with plasticware, in disposable containers. (recyclable – for sure!) The first time I dropped off my food, I marveled at the impact it had on me. Driving down Broward, with tears rolling down my face, I felt a new gratitude that I had never felt before. Not grateful for the big things, but for the small things. That I had my own food, and water, and knew every day where I was sleeping, and that it would be warm and dry. It broke my heart that so many others had so much less.

At Purim, we give Shaloach Manot – Food Baskets – for the needy. With 62 children in my Hebrew School program, I wanted to organize an act of giving. Not an act of giving where we just dropped food off at a truck. Yeah, that’s good too, but – I wanted my kids to know what homeless people looked like. I wanted them to see that they were real people, people who might have just lost out on chances, and this is where they ended up, for now. I explained that sometimes, people choose this life, and while I wanted them to give to someone who had less than them, I did not want them to look at them with pity. Just look at them as people who have less, and no way to get what we have, and know that you are doing something good when you share it with them.

I organized a food drive. Asked every family to donate some food for baskets, to organize the baskets, and drive to downtown together, to drop them off. I told them we probably wouldn’t stay there, just long enough to share – and leave. Several families asked if I had press coverage. “No”, I replied – I didn’t want any. This wasn’t about me, nor was it about my kids, but it was about simply – giving. Nobody would know we were coming. No organizers were there to make sure it all worked out, but something deep down inside told me that the ultimate Organizer, Blessed be He, was going to take care of it all.

I got nervous. What if our giving caused a riot? What if we didn’t have enough to go around and something bad happened? What if my innocent children who I brought to Ft. Lauderdale with their families experienced a good plan gone bad? Not today. It wasn’t going to happen. The Organizer was at work, making sure it was all good.

And so – we met at Dunkin Donuts, in the parking lot. I was overwhelmed at the number of families who showed up, brought amazing food, and even some extra friends to help out. Within minutes, my kids and my families put together 42 bags of food, and we kept some as leftovers, because I actually ran out of bags. (We’re doing this again on April 10th!) I wanted to take pictures, document the process, but I managed to catch a few quick shots, and they were all ready to go!

We got in our cars, caravaned down 595, and like a parade of cars, pulled in to the spaces that bordered the park. I jumped out of my car, and was just looking at all the homeless people, and was almost speechless. I was overcome with emotion, and didn’t even know how to start. Thankfully, a young man, who was sitting on a blanket came to me. I explained that I was a teacher, and in these cars behind me were my students and parents. That we just celebrated Purim, where we were thankful for our abundance, and wanted to show our gratitude by sharing our food with them. I told them we might not have enough, and asked them please kindly to share and make sure everyone got something.

Suddenly, every person in the park was standing around us – respectfully – eagerly – waiting to see what we were doing there. They heard my explanation, and I could immediately feel their incredible gratitude for just showing up for them at this moment. I then invited my kids to get out of their cars, and carry a bag to each person that was standing on the sidewalk, and suddenly, all of the people in the park began thanking my children profusely. Again – I was overwhelmed.

A nice looking man – actually he was fairly clean cut, and seemed to me to be “recently displaced” spoke up. He told my kids that they might not realize it, but that it only takes one person’s small act of kindness to change the world. Maybe not the whole word, but HIS whole world was changed today, and I suspect, so were many others. But you know what’s funny? I think for the people receiving the food, their day was changed. But for those of us who brought the food? That’s whose lives were changed the most.

Can you imagine the feeling of watching one of your precious students, clutching his mother, as he sobbed in her shirt, in despair for the unfortunate people whose day he just brightened? Well, not only was his world changed today, but mine was changed even more. To know that I just watched so many of my precious students, and their parents take part in true, direct giving – from their hearts, and from their wallets, was one of the most life changing experiences I have ever had.

I’m so thankful today. Thankful for my wonderful families. Thankful that for my $63 investment at BJ’s yesterday, I changed many people’s lives. Thankful that I saw giving as a pleasure, not as a duty. Thankful that I shared this moment with my students, and hopeful that they will always be inspired to give – more, and more often, to those in need.

We will be doing this again on April 10th, and if my friend Elizabeth has her way, this is going to become a monthly event – because truly – people are starving every day – right here at home. Not just on Thanksgiving or Yom Kippur, but every day – and because we can – we should make giving a daily event. Thank you to all who shared in today’s Mitzvah. I am truly grateful for having you in my life.

B’Shalom.

Unaffiliated Lifecycles? One Cantor’s view…

November 24, 2010 by Debbi Ballard 1 Comment

I just came across a well-written post by a Reform Rabbi in Washington, DC, in response to the recent NYT article that seems to be hitting a lot of nerves around the world. While I recognize that some of my colleagues provide this as a fast track, meaningless way to substantiate a monstrous party – not all of us do, and so here is my side of the story!

(Article)

Bar Mitzvah Training: It’s not just a job….

The New York Times story about on-line bar mitzvah preparation caught lots of attention (at least for a few minutes). You should read it if you have not. It offers a window into some basic problems we face in the American Jewish community today. First, what do synagogues matter anymore? It is possible to do everything Jewish without a synagogue. We often say that the community you find in a synagogue is vital to your Jewish life and not available anywhere else. Whether or not that’s true, the parents featured in the article don’t seem to care. And yet, they DO want bar mitzvah ceremonies for their kids. Or do they? The other important issue in the article is about the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah? The final line of the article says it all: “Once Joanne Kapsack had found a rabbi for Eli to work with, she pretty much bowed out of the preparations, she said. “I just cared about the party.” I am sure this happens equally often in our temple (and others). I must admit that I have never been a bar mitzvah party naysayer. I’ve either stayed out of it and treated it as something outside my scope or I have embraced the idea of the parties as part of the mitzvah and part of the community gathering that can occur. But, nothing has disappointed me more than hearing the post-event assessment from two recent bat mitzvah mothers: it was a let-down. They whole experience, when it was all said and done, was a let down for these mothers. What else could it be after all the hype, the buildup, the money and time spent on it? I have no problem adopting new technology – though I don’t really want an office that looks like the trading floor of a brokerage house. I have no problem with adopting different standards than previous generations simply accepted in order to become temple members. I also have no problem with completely revolutionizing the way we do Jewish education in general. But I do have problems with the ongoing march toward deification of bar and bat mitzvah. Within this trend is not so much innovation as desperation. We will do anything, it seems, to make our kids and ourselves feel good while we and they wallow in ambivalence about our Judaism.Dear

(My reply)

Rabbi Roos,

I just came across your comment and wanted to share another aspect of this situation that many seem to forget, or are not aware of.

It saddens me, too, to see the rite of passage as nothing but an excuse to show off one’s financial stature. I’m not a nay-sayer either, but whole-heartedly believe that the community celebration should be one of meaning, with the closest of friends and family surrounding the child, and showing love and support.

I am one of those Officiants, who provide unaffiliated lifecycles to my families, however, not for the purpose of fast tracking, eliminating, or for any other motive. These are families who got lost in the synagogue shuffle, and felt that synagogues were busy expecting congregants to meet their own financial needs, rather than vice versa.

In my town of Weston, FL, the Reform synagogue was bursting at its seams 5 years ago. With 700 families, they had one Rabbi with a lifetime contract since day 1, and a Cantorial soloist (not even a Cantor).

B’Nai Mitzvah services were doubled, to two a day, on Saturday morning ONLY, with 2 students in each service.

Many families wanted Havdalah services. Many families wanted smaller, private services to be held in the chapel, without the big pomp and circumstance and showiness of keeping up with those Jones’s. Many wanted their Rabbi (or officiant) to actually know their child’s name, but couldn’t commit to 3-5 days a week at the synagogue because of other commitments and demands on their childrens’ and families’ lives.

So – because the local synagogue couldn’t (or wouldn’t) meet those families’ needs – and because they truly wanted a meaningful, intimate connection to Judaism, and an opportunity to make their Judaism more personal and meaningful, and relevant, they found me.

I am a deeply traditional, spiritual Jew, with a profound belief, and relationship with G-d. I actually teach my students how to pray – how to understand G-d, and make G-d meaningful and relevant. I actually engage my students in learning, and experiencing Judaism, by cooking in their homes at holidays, teaching them how to teach their parents (many who are in Interfaith marriages) and how to initiate a worship-style dialogue at their Friday night Shabbat dinner table.

Please know that not all of us have offices that look like Wall Street. Mine is covered with photos of families I have worked with, pictures of places that my incredible job has taken me to, and is an environment that helps me remember that I am here to serve people, and not the other way around.

Perhaps if synagogues began acting the same way- more families would walk in the doors, rather than out.

With the most profound respect for your thoughts,

Cantor Debbi Ballard

Want to create your own Bar Mitzvah “dream come true”? Contact Cantor Debbi todayto see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

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You Inspire Me

Another great-full year, welcome 5776!

It’s Official! Shema Koleinu announces High Holiday Worship Services 5772!

High Holiday Worship Services with Cantor Debbi Ballard Begin for the first time

Unaffiliated Lifecycles? One Cantor’s view…

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