My Personal Cantor

Wedding Officiant -Debbi Ballard

Follow Me on Social Media

FB icon Twitter Icon Instagram Icon YouTube Icon Google+ Icon
  • About Me
  • Let Me Marry You
  • Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah
    • Bar Mitzvah in Israel with Cantor Debbi
  • LIFE’S PRECIOUS MOMENTS
  • Watch Me
  • Around The World
Home » inspiration

Interfaith Holiday Celebrations – My Thoughts

December 13, 2017 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

I turned the calendar page.  It’s December and that can only mean one thing. It’s holiday time. Personally, I love this time of year. Look around, people are smiling and making plans to spend time with their family and friends. I am no exception.  That said, interfaith holiday celebrations, something many members of my community have, can be challenging.

Each year, around this time,  some families are conflicted. When one adult was raised celebrating Hanukkah and the other celebrating Christmas, holiday time can often be stressful, even for those families who have discussed these issue and made religious commitments.

If you, as an interfaith family, have decided to raise your children Jewish, what DO you do at Christmas time?  Your in-laws celebrate.  Other family members celebrate. And honestly, Christmas is EVERYWHERE.  It’s in your face, even before Halloween.  It’s beautiful (all those lights) and it’s fun — who doesn’t want a visit from Santa? What should you do?

Or, if you are a Jewish parent who has committed to raising your child in the Christian faith, should you skip Hanukkah all together?  What about the holiday traditions you loved growing up.  There are dilemmas everywhere!

My Belief

As a spiritual adviser for the unaffiliated and interfaith communities, this question is familiar to me.  As a parent of a child who was raised in an interfaith family, this question is personal to me.  And, as a grandparent of the most beautiful little boy who is being raised in an interfaith family, this question is current for me.  However, my answer to the question is this: there is no right answer.

When this question is asked of me, I consistently deliver  a single response.  No matter what your decision, act with respect.  While my beliefs and faith in Judaism run deep (I was raised in a conservative household and am a Cantor by trade), my respect for all religions and all people run equally as deep.  We must, under all circumstances, understand that people have differing beliefs.  Although they may not align with ours, it doesn’t mean that they are wrong.

That said, Understanding this may make the following statement easier to comprehend.  “Although you have made a commitment to raising your child Jewish/Christian/Hindu/Muslim/Buddhist with your spouse; you must understand and accept that he/she has years of memories and experiences based in another religion.  Those beliefs and his/her love of specific traditions don’t disappear, even if you make a specific commitment.”   Honestly, I don’t really think they should. Our history (both religious and secular) shapes who we are; we should never turn our backs upon it.

My Advice

So, what should you do?  Well, that’s a tough question.  It depends on your beliefs. There are so many options.

Some Stories

For example, there is the story of my friend’s roommate.  She was raised Jewish; even had a Bat Mitzvah.  She met her husband after college.  He was Catholic.  At their wedding they had both a Rabbi and a Priest; I heard the ceremony was lovely.  Prior to the wedding, they made a commitment to raising their children Jewish.  They would have a Bris/Naming Ceremony and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. Honestly, there is no debate, their children are Jewish.  However, every holiday season there is a Christmas tree in their house.  “Why”, you may ask?  “Aren’t they raising their children Jewish?”  “Yes, they are.”  Understand,  her husband is NOT Jewish.  He grew up celebrating Christmas and has a lifetime of memories and traditions.  She believes that having that tree celebrates him and allows him to share some of his holiday traditions with their family.  She respects his history and shares that respect with her family, such a special thing to do.

Additionally, there is another family where the husband is Jewish and the wife is Christian.  Again, they decided to raise their children Jewish.  They have no tree; her husband felt strongly about this and she agreed.  However, they spend Christmas every year with her family. There is a tree, stockings, Santa, and most importantly, lots of love.  The children understand that they are Jewish, but mommy is not.  And, they look forward to celebrating with her each year.

This begs the question, “would I be so understanding if Judaism was not the religion chosen for the children? My answer is a resounding yes!  Why, you may ask? Because of that one simple word, respect.  I respect the choices my friends and my community make; I will always honor them.  Understand, people make decisions for a variety of complex and personal reasons; it is not my job to question those.  I always counsel my families to discuss these issues early and often; and to anticipate issues along the way. However, I would never question the carefully made decision once it is final.  I would respect it.

Finally, one additional scenario, what about that couple that decides to not choose, to raise their children with aspect from both religions.  Well, here are my thoughts: I’m afraid that doing “both” puts the burden of future choice on a child, which represents their choice of one parent over another.  In my home, we raised our children to be educated in only one faith, but we honored the non Jewish parent (their father) by celebrating his holidays, but we communicated that we chose for them to be Jewish.  Children appreciate having definition – and feel more confident to make future choices knowing they had parents in agreement.

Interfaith Holiday Celebrations

In the end, regardless of  your choices, I encourage you to stand by them, honor them and continue to build memories and traditions for your family for years to come.  Providing your children a safe and harmonious place to celebrate who they are is important; and creating an environment of love serves as a foundation for how they will raise their children and celebrate holidays in the future.

Finally, respect your choices and the choices of others.  Don’t judge their decisions or actions.  Be a part of a holiday season that truly brings joy to all.

Happy Holidays!

For more information call me at 954-646-1326 I would love to learn about your family and share how I can work with you.

Filed Under: Debbi's Deep Thoughts and Musings, Holidays, Jewish Tagged With: inspiration, Interfaith, Spirituality, Thoughts

Facing your fears and the hero of Passover

March 28, 2017 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

Who do you think was the hero of Passover?

I bet you anything you’ll say Moses, right off the bat, right?

Well, it’s important to know the story of Passover and dig a little deeper, so I’m going to share my personal thoughts on a great Passover hero, Nachshon.

I’m not saying Moses wasn’t a hero – he was! He conquered his fears, despite feeling insecure as a result of his speech impediment, and he absolutely believed he was not worthy of the responsibility God had bestowed upon him. But, he had a huge advantage – he had God on his side, and his brother Aaron, supporting and encouraging all the way.

Nachshon was not so lucky. As the Israelites approached the Sea of Reeds, and Pharoah’s army was already in hot pursuit, intending to recapture the released slave community, he was left with a choice – a momentary decision that would change history.

Nachshon had a debilitating fear of water. As he looked ahead, and all around, he saw only water, fear, and was sure he would drown.

As he looked back, he saw Pharoah’s army, closing in on the Israelites. Surely, he could not go back. He knew in that moment that going backwards not only also meant death, but regression and surrender to evil.

So, he chose forward. He put those fears aside, and stuck his toe into the water. Consumed even more with fear, he continued, staring fear in the face, and moving forward.

Just at the moment the water was about to overtake Nachshon, the miracle occurred. Moses lifted his staff unto the heavens. In concert with the Divine, at that very moment the waters parted, and the Israelites had a clear path to freedom.

So – who was the hero? What brought upon us this great miracle? Did Moses have supernatural power? Well, kind of – he had God leading the way. But my hero of the day is Nachshon. An ordinary guy, using his human power to conquer fear, look forward, and move through the fear. Making it to the other side, I am inspired by this story, year after year.

Facing fears and the hero of Passover

Not a day goes by that I’m not afraid of something. But I always keep the story of Nachshon nearby to remind me that fear will always be what stops me – if I allow it.

This Passover, what are you afraid of, that you are willing to stare in the face and move through?

Wishing you a holiday of strength and perseverance, like those who came before us.

Filed Under: Debbi's Deep Thoughts and Musings, Thoughts Tagged With: inspiration, Jewish heroes, passover

A fresh, clean slate

September 18, 2015 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

I always love the time of the holidays.  Aside from the stressful parts, Rosh Hashanah is like the brand new coloring book with a new box of crayons with perfect tips and paper wrappers in tact.  As I look at the wonderful pictures I get to color, I am filled with an imagination of how beautiful my pictures will look.

What colors will you use to create your masterpiece this year, Rosh Hashanah
What colors will you use to create your masterpiece this year?

And as I color, it’s inevitable – Here and there, I cross over the lines.  The picture I set out to create was perfect in my mind, but imperfect in its execution, at least on the exterior.  But at the end of the year, I look back at all the pictures I’ve colored and something occurs to me, something very important.  Not every picture crosses the lines.  Some are done well, others have some small mistakes, and the collection of the pictures as a whole represent a year – my year – of efforts made, hitting the target, and sometimes, not.

It occurs to me that the coloring book is far more beautiful for having tried, and crossed the line, than to have never colored at all.  It represents the hope that next year’s book will be better, less errors, more vivid colors, perhaps a bit more technically advanced, or maybe using softer colors, because after all – every year is different, and what’s important is that I make the effort to color at all. Truly, the coloring book, after all, is perfect.  It is mine.

At Rosh Hashanah, I’m filled with inspiration of how I will color my year ahead.  the fresh, clean slate makes me feel like a school girl again, and how I smile inside when I know that life is my coloring book, and I own a new box of crayons.  What colors will you use this year?  What masterpieces will you create?

L’Shanah Tovah!

Debbipurple

Filed Under: Debbi's Deep Thoughts and Musings Tagged With: inspiration, Rosh Hashanah

Check out my upcoming guest appearance!

April 2, 2009 by Debbi Ballard Leave a Comment

I am so excited!  Todd, from Soul Solutions Healing Group just emailed me to let me know that my blog and website are going to be featured on their site tomorrow!  I have really become a constant follower of his blog, because every time I drop in, the entry of the day or the week is always so relevant to me, and it gives me so much food for thought!

So, while you are looking around, please feel free to cast your eye in Todd’s direction.  I’m sure you will find lots of interesting nuggets of inspiration to keep you going for a while!

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Todd!

 

Filed Under: Thoughts Tagged With: blog, healing, inspiration, soul, Spiritual, Spirituality

Watch an Interview with Debbi

Categories

  • About
  • Baby Namings
  • Bar/Bat Mitzvah Adventures
  • Debbi's Deep Thoughts and Musings
  • Destination Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah
  • Events
  • Featured Content
  • Funerals
  • GLBT
  • Holidays
  • Jewish
  • Jewish, Interfaith, LGBTQ Weddings
  • Judaism
  • Let's Eat!
  • Slider
  • Thoughts
  • Wedding Vendors
  • Weddings
  • worship

Contact Me

717 Shotgun Road,
Sunrise, FL 33326
954-646-1326



~ Officiating Jewish & Interfaith Weddings, Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Funerals, and any other Jewish Lifecycle Services in Florida, USA – Destination Weddings in North America, Mexico, Caribbean & Worldwide ~

Follow Me On Twitter!

Tweets by @jewishweddings

What They Say

"Working with Cantor Debbi
made our event more amazing
than we hoped for! She is warm
and wonderful!"

Events Calendar

March 2021
MMonday TTuesday WWednesday TThursday FFriday SSaturday SSunday
1March 1, 2021 2March 2, 2021 3March 3, 2021 4March 4, 2021 5March 5, 2021 6March 6, 2021 7March 7, 2021
8March 8, 2021 9March 9, 2021 10March 10, 2021 11March 11, 2021 12March 12, 2021 13March 13, 2021 14March 14, 2021
15March 15, 2021 16March 16, 2021 17March 17, 2021 18March 18, 2021 19March 19, 2021 20March 20, 2021 21March 21, 2021
22March 22, 2021 23March 23, 2021 24March 24, 2021 25March 25, 2021 26March 26, 2021 27March 27, 2021 28March 28, 2021
29March 29, 2021 30March 30, 2021 31March 31, 2021 1April 1, 2021 2April 2, 2021 3April 3, 2021 4April 4, 2021

Upcoming Events

  • 10:00 am – 11:15 am, September 19, 2020 – High Holy Days with Cantor Debbi Ballard on ZOOM
  • 7:00 pm – 8:15 pm, September 27, 2020 – High Holy Days with Cantor Debbi Ballard on ZOOM
  • 10:00 am – 11:15 am, September 28, 2020 – High Holy Days with Cantor Debbi Ballard on ZOOM

Copyright © 2021 · Outreach Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in