My Personal Cantor

Wedding Officiant -Debbi Ballard

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Allie and Ben and Their Beautiful Wedding at The Addison – Meet my Interfaith Couple

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Meet Ben and Allie – a recent favorite Interfaith Couple

Have you ever met someone and just fallen in love — I did, and it’s probably not the story you’re expecting to hear.  For me, it was Allie — and then Ben, and what led to an amazing relationship with this Interfaith Couple, as their wedding officiant.  Let me share their story.

Ben and Allie’s love story

About a year ago I was contacted by a young woman looking for someone to officiate her Jewish-Interfaith wedding.  She was originally from South Florida, and her parents live here now, and they were planning their wedding at the beautiful Addison in Boca Raton, Florida.

Ben and Allie had met in Grenada, while at Medical School.  Ben helped Allie up the stairs with her luggage, and over the next 3.5 years, they would fall in love and share the most romantic love story. While studying in Medical School became their #1 priority, they fell in love over the simple things in life, and couldn’t wait to begin their lives together, post Medical School.

A logistics challenge…

But here was the problem.  When I met Ben & Allie, they were in the process of matching. What if they didn’t match to the same schools?  Could their love endure being in different places during such a challenging time in their lives?

As we sat together, somehow, we all knew – that everything was going to work out fine, and they would land exactly where destiny was going to take them.

Here we come, Arkansas!

Holy moly!  How excited was I when I found out they both matched in Arkansas, and got a puppy??  Everything worked out so well for them – and even though we might think – HUH?  ARKANSAS?  I just love how Allie and Ben looked at this as such a miracle, and that life was taking all the right turns at just the right time.

The Jewish-Interfaith Wedding

I loved marrying Ben and Allie.  Even though it rained and we had to go indoors, The Addison is a beautiful place to be, no matter where you have the wedding ceremony.  But what really shined through was the love Allie and Ben shared, and the excitement for finally starting their lives together – IN THE SAME PLACE!

How adorable is this Interfaith couple? I couldn’t be happier to be their wedding officiant on this very special day!

Cantor and Wedding Officiant Debbi officiates the wedding for a Jewish Interfaith couple at The Addison in Boca Raton, Florida
Jewish Interfaith couple at The Addison in Boca Raton
an Interfaith couple is exchanging Jewish Interfaith Wedding Vows at the Addison in Boca Raton, Florida
Wedding giggles during vows

Where will their love take them next?

I can’t wait to find out where Ben and Allie’s next stop on their journey will take them!  I sure hope they stay in touch – and don’t wait too long till we get to welcome an adorable baby – but wish them all the best in their medical profession journeys.  Love you guys!

Thanks for the memories!

Want to create your own “dream come true wedding”? Contact Cantor Debbi today to see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

PS: And don’t forget to stop by our sample ceremonies page to see what your ceremony might look like!

The Power Team of Jewish Catholic Wedding Officiants!

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I’ve been so fortunate to have 2 opportunities to work with Father Tim, and since I just received a copy of this photo from our couple, Michelle and Brian, I’m posting it right away!  Again I am reminded why Father Tim and I are the Power Team of Jewish Catholic Wedding Officiants!

The Power Team of Jewish Catholic Wedding Officiants
Cantor Debbi Ballard and Father Tim Lozier, the power team of Jewish Catholic Wedding officiants, after Michelle and Brian’s Jewish Catholic wedding in St. Augustine, FL

I’m sure there are so many couples out there who are trying to find a workable way to incorporate their Jewish and Catholic faiths into a single ceremony, and we do it so well!  Both of our brides, Beth Ann and Michelle had always dreamed of getting married in a beautiful Catholic church,   but when they both fell in love with Jewish men, they feared that might not be able to happen.

Fortunately, they both found Father Tim!  I adore Father Tim – he’s super cool, open minded, and makes everything “kosher” with the Catholic Church, and my Jewish family members feel warm and wonderful knowing that we included the most important, cherished traditions of our faith in their wedding.

On top of having a great ceremony, Father Tim and I get along so well, and we have so much FUN together!  So have no fear, if you are looking for the power team of Jewish Catholic officiants – you have found us!

Want to create your own “dream come true wedding”?  Contact Cantor Debbi today to see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

It’s Official! Shema Koleinu announces High Holiday Worship Services 5772!

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 High Holiday Worship Services with Cantor Debbi Ballard Begin for the first time

7 years ago, I performed my first wedding.  6 years ago, I performed my first Bat Mitzvah.  Today, I am so proud to announce the official launch of “Shema Koleinu“, our non-profit synagogue-like organization that provides outreach to South Florida’s Jewish and Interfaith/Intercultural unaffiliated community.  After several years of providing quality, meaningful life cycles for families who do not belong to synagogues, I wanted to do more.  I wanted to mean more.  I knew, that in order to truly be “My Personal Cantor”, I must provide everything a true synagogue did, but was committed to eliminating the membership, dues, and business aspect of the synagogue.

It was not only critical to provide meaningful life cycles, it was critical to bring my community a place of belonging, a place they could call their community, and feel great about building. We can create community by action, not by dollars.  We can create community through mitzvah projects and group prayer, and not need to pay electric bills to do it!

But yet, we must build.  Bringing my community an amazing High Holy Day worship experience was my priority this year, and I’m so excited to announce that I have contracted with the Miramar Cultural Center in Miramar FL, to bring West Broward its first meaningful, uplifting, and spiritually abundant High Holiday worship services for the unaffiliated.  Regardless of your affiliation – or not – you can now worship and honor the new year with us, in a beautiful setting, with meaningful prayer and leadership.  Our services will be family-friendly, so bring your children!  And – we are even offering a tiny tot worship service for both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

We need the community’s help in building something they can call their own!  For more information, please contact Cantor Debbi Ballard at 954-646-1326.  Watch for our official ticket sales announcement in the next few days, and please – let us know what you can do to help.  This is not MY event – this is YOURS!  Please come and be a part of something – REVOLUTIONARY!  You’ll be so happy you did!

B’Shalom,

 

Unaffiliated Lifecycles? One Cantor’s view…

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I just came across a well-written post by a Reform Rabbi in Washington, DC, in response to the recent NYT article that seems to be hitting a lot of nerves around the world.  While I recognize that some of my colleagues provide this as a fast track, meaningless way to substantiate a monstrous party – not all of us do, and so here is my side of the story!

(Article)

Bar Mitzvah Training: It’s not just a job….

The New York Times story about on-line bar mitzvah preparation caught lots of attention (at least for a few minutes).  You should read it if you have not.  It offers a window into some basic problems we face in the American Jewish community today.  First, what do synagogues matter anymore?  It is possible to do everything Jewish without a synagogue.  We often say that the community you find in a synagogue is vital to your Jewish life and not available anywhere else.  Whether or not that’s true, the parents featured in the article don’t seem to care.  And yet, they DO want bar mitzvah ceremonies for their kids.  Or do they?  The other important issue in the article is about the meaning of bar/bat mitzvah?  The final line of the article says it all: “Once Joanne Kapsack had found a rabbi for Eli to work with, she pretty much bowed out of the preparations, she said. “I just cared about the party.”  I am sure this happens equally often in our temple (and others).  I must admit that I have never been a bar mitzvah party naysayer.  I’ve either stayed out of it and treated it as something outside my scope or I have embraced the idea of the parties as part of the mitzvah and part of the community gathering that can occur.  But, nothing has disappointed me more than hearing the post-event assessment from two recent bat mitzvah mothers: it was a let-down.  They whole experience, when it was all said and done, was a let down for these mothers.  What else could it be after all the hype, the buildup, the money and time spent on it?  I have no problem adopting new technology – though I don’t really want an office that looks like the trading floor of a brokerage house.  I have no problem with adopting different standards than previous generations simply accepted in order to become temple members. I also have no problem with completely revolutionizing the way we do Jewish education in general.  But I do have problems with the ongoing march toward deification of bar and bat mitzvah.  Within this trend is not so much innovation as desperation.  We will do anything, it seems, to make our kids and ourselves feel good while we and they wallow in ambivalence about our Judaism.Dear

(My reply)

Rabbi Roos,

I just came across your comment and wanted to share another aspect of this situation that many seem to forget, or are not aware of.

It saddens me, too, to see the rite of passage as nothing but an excuse to show off one’s financial stature. I’m not a nay-sayer either, but whole-heartedly believe that the community celebration should be one of meaning, with the closest of friends and family surrounding the child, and showing love and support.

I am one of those Officiants, who provide unaffiliated lifecycles to my families, however, not for the purpose of fast tracking, eliminating, or for any other motive. These are families who got lost in the synagogue shuffle, and felt that synagogues were busy expecting congregants to meet their own financial needs, rather than vice versa.

In my town of Weston, FL, the Reform synagogue was bursting at its seams 5 years ago. With 700 families, they had one Rabbi with a lifetime contract since day 1, and a Cantorial soloist (not even a Cantor).

B’Nai Mitzvah services were doubled, to two a day, on Saturday morning ONLY, with 2 students in each service.

Many families wanted Havdalah services. Many families wanted smaller, private services to be held in the chapel, without the big pomp and circumstance and showiness of keeping up with those Jones’s. Many wanted their Rabbi (or officiant) to actually know their child’s name, but couldn’t commit to 3-5 days a week at the synagogue because of other commitments and demands on their childrens’ and families’ lives.

So – because the local synagogue couldn’t (or wouldn’t) meet those families’ needs – and because they truly wanted a meaningful, intimate connection to Judaism, and an opportunity to make their Judaism more personal and meaningful, and relevant, they found me.

I am a deeply traditional, spiritual Jew, with a profound belief, and relationship with G-d. I actually teach my students how to pray – how to understand G-d, and make G-d meaningful and relevant. I actually engage my students in learning, and experiencing Judaism, by cooking in their homes at holidays, teaching them how to teach their parents (many who are in Interfaith marriages) and how to initiate a worship-style dialogue at their Friday night Shabbat dinner table.

Please know that not all of us have offices that look like Wall Street. Mine is covered with photos of families I have worked with, pictures of places that my incredible job has taken me to, and is an environment that helps me remember that I am here to serve people, and not the other way around.

Perhaps if synagogues began acting the same way- more families would walk in the doors, rather than out.

With the most profound respect for your thoughts,

Cantor Debbi Ballard

 

Want to create your own Bar Mitzvah “dream come true”?  Contact Cantor Debbi todayto see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

Danielle and Garrett’s Jewish Interfaith Wedding Ceremony – Why I do what I do

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Danielle and Garrett’s Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony is the perfect reason why I do what I do.

Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremonies are absolutely what I do best, but being a positive resource to my couples is just as important.

Danielle and Garrett's Jewish-Interfaith wedding ceremony is the perfect reason why I do what I do.

Many colleagues ask me why I invest so much time in my individual Interfaith couples. They insist that I can be just as popular, and just as busy, but I don’t need to make my couples a part of my life.

WRONG!!!!

Without a couple like Danielle and Garrett, and without falling in love with some (many) of my couples, my practice would feel empty. Instead, Danielle and Garrett were just like my own family from the minute we met, and I wouldn’t change a thing. They both came to me a year ago, looking for a Cantor and unaffiliated wedding officiant for their Jewish Interfaith wedding and wanting to meet to explore the possibility of my co-officiating a wedding ceremony for them, as D was Jewish, and G was not. They were both raised traditionally, but wanted an equal yet meaningful blend of who they both were as individuals, yet reflecting their harmonious union together. We sat at Starbucks for almost 2 hours (yes, a little longer than the typical initial meeting) and when we left, there was so much love in the air. Danielle called me later to let me know that Garrett specifically wanted ME to do the wedding ceremony, absent of a co-officiant. Rarely is it the groom who displays such emotional preference, but Garrett had a way of opening up to me in that meeting, that preserved a very special place in my heart for him – forever. Through the year, Danielle and I became fast facebook friends, engaging in early morning and late night chat, and sometimes, some personal opportunities to vent, and for me to be a sounding board for her, and even some of her family members. After all, this was a  Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony, and each of them had family members with strong preferences and religiously traditional ideas, and at times, Danielle and Garrett had to make some unpopular decisions about their wedding, that didn’t please all of the important people in their lives. Together, we worked through it all. Danielle came to my home for coffee one day, to work on choosing a Ketubah, which she purchased from MPArtworks. It was beautiful. She made me such an important part of every decision, and with every twist, turn, and contest that Danielle entered (AND WON!), we built a relationship that would last forever.

Signing Ketubah with Jewish Interfaith Wedding coupleNow, working with Danielle, it’s impossible not to get her – without the rest of the family, and of course – her very special Dad, Jules. Once D and I became facebook friends, I was instantly friends with her Mom, her Dad, and about 100 cousins. (ok – I’m exaggerating) Her dad, Jules, one of the most incredibly fun and sweet Dads I have ever met, included me in some facebook banter, and the rest was history. The year continued, with anticipation of meeting – and celebrating with everyone, and FINALLY – the wedding night arrived – 10/10/10.

Jules and his awesome smile
Jules and his awesome smile

A special date, a special Interfaith couple, and a special family – I knew this was going to be a Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony to remember. Danielle could not have planned it better. She and Garrett were married at the Boca Marriott, a venue I could not recommend more highly. They were phenomenal, very accommodating, and everything was perfect. They were married at the fountain outside, and they had a platform built on top of the front third of the fountain, so we were elevated, yet the fountains ran behind us.

Side view of harpist and chuppah
Side view of harpist and chuppah

I can’t even tell you how beautiful their chuppah was, courtesy of Dalsimer Florists. Yes, these people are the best in the trade, and when you want over the top beautiful flowers – that’s where you go.

Chuppah by Dalsimer
Chuppah by Dalsimer

They had a harpist for wedding music, who I have played with before, and she is lovely.  We incorporated so many beautiful Jewish traditions, the ketubah, chuppah, sand ceremony and more.  We incorporated the 7 Blessings (Sheva Brachot) with a modern day interpretation on the English.  Instead of circling, I wrapped my tallit around their shoulders, to create a protective circle around them.  It was beautiful.

Tallit and 7 Blessings, Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony
Tallit and 7 Blessings
Sand Ceremony, Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony
Sand Ceremony

They performed the biblical ring exchange, on to the right finger, moving each ring over to their own left ring finger, which I think adds so much dimension to the Jewish-Interfaith wedding ceremony.  Overall, it was meaningful, uplifting, and just a tiny bit humorous, as Garrett kept throwing some humorous anecdotes in as I was talking and the 3 of us were giggling like crazy!

Biblical Ring Exchange, Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony
Biblical Ring Exchange

On to the party!

Their DJ – Shamar Reyes, was amazing, he kept that party going, had everyone out on the dance floor (yes, me included), and played such fun music – you couldn’t help but want to dance! (And that, we did!)  Everything was so perfect, and we really had so much fun!celebrations after their Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremonyCantor and unaffiliated wedding officiant Debbi Ballard dances with the bride's dad at a Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremonyFunny note: D wanted a photo booth SO bad. Dad, Jules, wanted nothing to do with it. D entered ANOTHER contest – and yes – SHE WON. Dad, Jules, still wanted nothing to do with it. IT WAS AWESOME! (Ask Dad Jules about the photo booth – he ended up loving it!) Just ask Lindsay with www.photoboothsocial.com how much fun he had at the party! 🙂 Danielle’s friend, Jonathan Nimerfroh was hired to do photos, and he did an amazing job. (I could not be writing this blog entry without his generous supply of beautiful photos!)  We got a sneak peek just a few days after the wedding, and couldn’t wait to see the rest. D’s dress was designed by David Tutera, also a personal friend, and she looked like a princess. Danielle had her rehearsal dinner at Maggiano’s, in Boca, and after the Jewish-Interfaith wedding ceremony, we all made our way over to Rocco’s Tacos, ANOTHER personal friend of the family, who opened the bar for the after party, and for those of you who know what you do at Rocco’s – the tequila was flowing to say the least! (This family has GREAT friends!)

Rocco on the Bar with Tequila, after the Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony
Rocco on the Bar with Tequila
Garrett's mom, contemplating Tequila after the Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony
Garrett’s mom, contemplating Tequila

Yes, I attended all of the wedding events of the weekend. A little unusual, as time rarely permits, but again, this was special. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to describe my relationship with Danielle and Garrett, but I just know it is one that will last forever. They bring a very special brightness to my life, and they made me want to own the responsibility of giving them more than they could have hoped for, for their Jewish-Interfaith wedding ceremony. Without couples like this, I might be happy with just being good at what I do. Danielle and Garrett made me want to go beyond that. That’s why I do what I do. D & G – I love you both! I couldn’t have been happier to be such an important part of your special day! I know we will be part of each other’s lives for a very long time FOREVER!

Debbipurple

Want to create your own “dream come true wedding”? Contact Cantor Debbi today to see how you can co-create the event of your dreams.

PS: And don’t forget to stop by our sample ceremonies page to see what your Jewish Interfaith wedding ceremony might look like!

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